Saying what exactly?

I know you said love is blind. But I'm not. Strange how I pick up on certain things. While others fly right over me.
Yes, I'm a reader and a writer, but when it comes to sadness I try to stay away from that sort of emotion. I have too much of it and I shouldn't. I mean, I'm a young lady going to study abroad in London. How cool is that? I shouldn't be acting the way I've been acting.
And I hate to say it, but I don't remember the promises. I mean, I probably do, but I just can't remember them. I feel like you have a better memory than I do.

And hey, I will never go for anyone else, but you. So don't listen to the peanut gallery of people that talk to you. They don't really know me. I know me and you don't have to be afraid that I'm pansexual. I only have eyes for you. You sweet, beautiful, handsome, loving guy. Sorry, for a second there I pictured your beautiful face and smile.

Anyway, I wanted to talk to you about something, but I guess it will have to be over this. If you truly are reading this. It hurts me every time you talk about women. Like ditching school with a hot girl. Or seeing some cute Asians. It doesn't sit right in my stomach. Yeah, I probably do the same, but I'm more admiring what the girl is wearing or wishing I had something of hers.
I don't know, just hearing you call those women and girls those words makes me feel sick in the stomach. And I don't like it at all.

Another thing is that I feel everyone thinking I'm being waaay too serious or not serious enough. Sometimes when I joke I mock being serious and then a few seconds later I burst out laughing. My family understands it, but I guess you and your friends don't. So now I know that I need to watch what I do. Because sometimes I say things trying to mean something, but it comes out all wrong.

I'm sorry. And yeah you say your "whatevers", but it's not. I mean it every time I say sorry. I also mean it when i say I love you. I don't know what you think, but those two phrases mean a lot. It's a very serious thing to me.

Remember Gulliver's Travels? How the people of Liliput could build anything? Well, now would be a good time to tell you. I fall fast and hard for people, but you were the one's that had me take more time and courage than ever. My heart is still being built anew right now. It started when I said that I like you. It's still growing after I said my first "I love you". Right now, there is something that is rebuilding my heart. It had holes, gouges, rips, and tears before. I thought I wouldn't find someone to love. Now that I have, my brain doesn't know how to handle such a fragile thing. You.
So right now, I'm trying to take it one step at a time, but I just jumped right in thinking I can handle this. So for now, I'll be in the shallow end of the pool and wait for my heart to build back up before I try and go to the next level of things.

I hope you understand what I mean. You are my boyfriend. And I am your girlfriend, no one else's.

I love you.

A❤