Well, never mind

Sad, confused, upset, and angry.
That is what you made me feel when you ended our conversation with "Night"

I know you. When you're done talking, or rather done listening to me talking, you do this.

This is a main reason why I don't talk to you about certain things because I know how you get.
Ooo! You bug the crap outta me when you do this.
I'm so done with you acting like this. Why are you acting like this? And if you say it's me, then by God, you better be ready for my reaction.

You make me feel like shit.

There, I'm going to be blunt.

You make me feel sick to my stomach when you act this way. In case you haven't noticed, I worry, a lot. And when you act this way, I know it's because of something I did or say. That will be my main thought until you tell me otherwise. I get so sick to my stomach that I feel like I might even throw up. I say "might" because I try to calm myself down before I do and make a mess over a STUPID LITTLE THING.

UURRRGH!! WHY CAN'T YOU SEE THAT I LOVE YOU AND THAT I FUCKING CARE ABOUT YOU??? When I ask what's wrong, you tell me. When I sense something on your mind, you better fucking tell me. BECAUSE I HAVE GOTTEN REAL CLOSE TO YOU, EMOTIONALLY, THAT I CAN FUCKING SENSE THINGS WHEN YOUR GODDAMN MOOD CHANGES.

Everything I do or try to show you, it means that I care for you like the last piece of my fucking heart.
I'm now blunt, people say rude, because I tried another way. I tried to be loved by everyone. That didn't work out. I tried to please people while sticking to myself, that didn't go very well either. So now, I'm trying this new thing called, being myself. And I found out that I can weed people out by being myself.
I can weed out that bad people in my life that bring negativity. Yes, I'm still nice, but I'm now cautious when I first meet people.
I have spectacular friends that I've meet this semester.
I have also met people that I wish to not associate with anymore.

And then there's you.

God, where do I even begin. You say I change moods? Yeah, at least you can see them changing. While you, you just keep it silent.
Well fuck you!! *middle finger*
But it looks like I already have.


My last question to ask and then I'm done for tonight.

Why can't you see that I love you very much, that when you feel upset, I want to help?


Hey, my stomach feels better, well would you look at that.