Release

I basically fired someone as my friend.
Goodbye, I don't want you right now in my life.
I think they were happy. I don't know, they haven't seen my message or replied.

It was my ex.
Ew, even thinking about that seems weird.
Another person becoming my ex... what does that make it, 4?
Amazing.
Had 2 girlfriends and 2 boyfriends. Next I shall pic the only friend I ever need, myself.

I just read something online, someone said, "Easy to spot a yellow car when you are always thinking of a yellow car. Easy to spot opportunity when you are always thinking of opportunity. Easy to spot reasons to be mad when you are always thinking of being mad. You become what you constantly think about. Watch yourself."

And I took that in a funny way, of course. Like oh I'm thinking about sex, maybe I might get sex. Or I am thinking of having a partner again. But really? I have been thinking about what my ex is doing. Texting that girl again. Not listening to me. Not texting me. Not caring.
That last one hurts because people say that everyone who cares about you would show it, yet my ex doesn't seem to give a care about me, so why should I? EXACTLY! 
I shouldn't care. I should care, however about my own well being, because frankly it is shitty. And my ex doesn't care about my health.

Want to know something funny? I showed him my scars and he started to exclaim. Exclaim! Can you believe that? Once I had evidence and scars and proof, OH NOW HE CARES. I laugh at that.

Don't do that. Don't do what I did. Don't hurt yourself for some low life nobody to try and get them to care for you. They don't. They only care when it is convenient for them.
Sucks cause all of his friends are exactly like that.
One thing I will miss, is the sex, kissing, and cuddling.
Like I could probably do without sex... but the intimate and sensual shit? I loved it.
Oh well. Gotta move on I guess.

Anyway, time to focus on myself, my mental illnesses, and trying to graduate.
Oh and not taking shit from my mother anymore. I am way over this from someone who.... not even going to get into it. My mother is not worth my time.

Also, I am going to see the movie The Upside. I've already seen the French version, so I'll check this one out and compare it.




Peace. :)