Like every Sunday

Since it was mothers day... it was difficult.

I kept getting emails, ads, and reminders about the day.

My mother never wanted anything on this day.

She worked hard, didn't give in to luxuries, and didn't feel the need to do anything extravagant.
The only thing she did do was give an extraordinary experience.
We went on cruises! We traveled to different countries! We had people stay with us from all over the world!
Plus, she had a major shoe collection. 😂

My brother called and talked to my sister. She cried.
Then later he called me. We talked. I told him about my new glasses.
I am very happy and looking forward to getting them!!

My sister, her gf, and I went outside to play some frisbee. The cats decided to join. Khaleesi would just chase after it. Noom!
We had fun.
I then facetimed my friend, told him about today and he comforted me.
Told me to remember the things I did with her and such.
Bastard didn't know I was about to cry... I didn't.
Maybe a little.

I miss her. So much. I went legit crazy because she's gone. I got admitted because I really thought there was nothing left to live for.
How crazy? Hahaha..

She didn't understand that I had mental illnesses.
She didn't figure out why I acted a certain way.
She told me horrendous things about myself, but that was because she didn't know anything.

When she was on her bed, I watched her sanity fade, day by day.
I saw what the tumor was doing to her brain.
She would forget things.
She started to forget how to speak.
Breathe.
Swallow.
Blink.
She even forgot my name.

One thing she never forgot was how much she loved me.
The minute I entered the room, I saw it in her eyes, they lit up.
In her mind, she knew that she felt a certain way about me.
She never stopped loving me.
When she left our world, I felt somewhat proud of my accomplishments.

I got to show her my degree. I told her stories of my adventures studying abroad.
I told her about my friends from uni. I told her about my best friend.
In private, I thanked her for helping me during college. I hugged her and I told her that she helped me out so much. Even with everything that she was going through.
I even showed her how I drive. Haha... She helped me get over my fear of driving in the fast lane.

Now, I only drive fast. I have not a destination, but a place that I want to get to, before my time is up.

So, Happy Mothers Day!
To my mommy, I will achieve my dream.




Peace.